ctrl F5-ing me.

A precious day off. A lengthy list of to-do’s. Five and a half whole hours to cross things off that list. ‘How’d I do’ is a question I ask myself most days. It comes with my personality ~ infused through my cells in utero I’m sure ~ can I do better, could I have handled that differently, how could I have improved on the day??? We live in a world of busy busy busy. I cannot recall the last time I had enough time, can you? I find myself getting envious of anyone who says they’re bored. Ohmygawd! Gimme some of that time! The things I could do with it! It’s not a nice place to find yourself. Envy feels so icky.

A wise friend warned me last year of the impending ‘speeding up of time’ we would all experience and soon. She’s an esoteric type of gal. If it will make the world a better place, she’s right up there in the vanguard, charging away to pave a path for the rest of us to reach enlightenment. If we all lived like my friend, the world would be the most beautiful place to live. Peaceful, loving, empathetic, abundant. Our planet would last until the end of time itself. So much love.

I listened to her filling my head with the limitless possibilities of the future if only we all slowed down while I was prepping dinner, sorting and pegging out washing, cleaning the youngest child’s room for packing, making up moving boxes and throwing in bits of conversation here and there. Our chats aren’t often so they are long to make up for it. She lives so far away, and keeps getting further in kilometres. This is a woman who will move house in a heartbeat to follow the dreams of her family, even while her health problems are long term and ongoing ~ I live in hope for an answer to what it is that’s not right in her body, let alone a cure. I always hang up the phone feeling whole. Refreshed in the truest sense of the word.

As is evident, it takes a fair while for her sage words to ebb into the bits of my brain that make me think.Lately I’ve noticed, time has sped up. I would usually assume this is merely a sign of being a working, studying, mum-ing wife, friend and daughter. Isn’t everyone busy? Being busy seems to have become a life sport. It’s what we do. Yet as I look around me and listen harder, it’s not just my generation, nor is it just the stage of life I am in. There is a running theme (pun intended) in the lives of everyone I meet lately ~ that’s about 300 customers a shift some days ~ rush rush rushing to the next thing, person, event, commitment….life? Really? Is this it?

So how’d I do today? Well, I baked red velvet cupcakes for my former neighbours 70th birthday on Friday. I sat here at my computer and wrote a long and hopefully funny letter for my sisters upcoming 40th birthday. I cooked a delicious dinner. Baking, writing and cooking make me happy. After I’ve done these things I feel whole. Refreshed. And not the slightest bit rushed.

The to-do-list? It can wait.

The wisdom of ages

In spite of my best intentions, I’ve crossed into middle age. I still wear chucks, jeans and retro band t-shirts. There’s a good indicator of my age there. I love dressing in vintage. Though that simply means trawling through my wardrobe. So it goes.

My generation, the awesome and too cool for school Gen X. We’ve somehow turned everything we loved into fashion and commodity. We grew up in the utterly unfashionable ’80’s. How did we become cool after so many years of trying to be just that? Wonders will never cease.

I remember dancing in my ultra cool Aunty Judy’s loungeroom, in front of a record player that really needed its own room. It played LP after LP on it’s magical rotation system. For the last twenty years or more, a record player of any type, let alone that monstrosity, would have been junk. Now it’s a collectors item. This is the way of our world now.

I fight my battles here, holding on to the past, the carefree memories of a time long gone. But almost coming ’round again.

Soon enough I’ll be in fashion. For once. I’ll enjoy it this time. I promise myself.